Malachi’s Mummy

Contrary to what the name suggests, this isn’t a typical mummy blog.

I’m only 47 days into the role so I’m hardly an expert. If you’ve been in the mummy game for a while and have some pearls of wisdom from the trenches of motherhood, send them my way! 

A quick search of #mummybloger brings up 343 million results on Google and 450 thousand tags on Instagram. To varying degrees, they’ll all explore and share their personal experiences of the nitty-gritty of parenthood; Nighttime routines, burping techniques, the perfect way to settle a baby – you name it! While some of these are fantastic resources and have helped me massively in these early days of motherhood, I’ve decided to take a different route’ with this blog. 

This space is mine – an outlet to share my thoughts and musings on the world beyond just motherhood.

Becoming Malachi’s Mummy has reshaped my identity. I’m Heather’s daughter, Matthew’s wife, London City Mission’s Head of Communications, a friend and a sister but being a mummy for 47 days has been an almighty shock to the system and something I know has fundamentally shifted who I am forever. I often say it’s far better than I imagined and harder than I ever expected. 

Confessions of an overthinker

Ever find yourself trapped in a mental maze, endlessly pondering every possible outcome of a situation? 

You’re not alone. 

Overthinking is like a sneaky thief that steals my peace of mind, sometimes leaving me exhausted, anxious and filled with a tinge of disappointment at not pursuing things I’m passionate about.

Now, I’d briefly like to suggest that my intentions as a recovering overthinker aren’t all bad though – surely it means I care? It means I’m invested in getting it right the first time? 

Working in communications my whole career, I love words, and the beauty of storytelling. I love branding and I love marketing. In the world of work I consider myself to be quite decisive and able to make quick but considered decisions. However, in my personal life, this means there’s a tendency to ‘overthink’ things whenever I have an idea I’d like to pursue or urge to do something. I get knee deep in considering who is the audience, what are the key messages and how do I translate something into a slick piece of shareable content.

But more often than not, these ideas end up on the shelf, gathering dust. Domain names purchased that haven’t seen the light of day. PowerPoint presentations that go into great detail about a new passion project that I never start. 

Overthinking in motherhood

In the 47 days of being a mum there have been times I’ve not gone with my gut instinct and stopped to rewatch the Tik Tok that tells me the sound of the cry to know if he’s hungry. The boy is chewing his hand, of course he’s hungry! Trying to decipher if his cry is more of a ‘nehh’ or ‘meehh’ is not what I should be doing right now. Suddenly, every decision feels like a life or death situation. Is he sleeping enough? Eating enough? I’ll scream if I’m asked ‘how many wet and dirty nappies has he done’ one more time.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m so grateful for the many Instagram and TikTok mums who have chosen to share their motherhood journey’s, but then I consider my Gran who came to the UK in 1967 and had my mum two years later. She had her instincts and a handful of trusted women around her to help. Not millions of search results from Google to wade through the latest viral mummy hack to follow. 

I don’t have the capacity

I’m quickly realising ‘I don’t have the capacity’ to overthink as a new mum. My brain is literally full and I’m tired, so, so tired! Malachi’s Mummy is a small way of saying no to overthinking. I hope the simple practice of this weekly blog helps to minimise the burden of being burdened by my thoughts and unable to take action. 

Malachi doesn’t have the capacity to overthink. 

When he’s hungry, he cries. When he needs to poop or pee, he cries – and more fool me when I’m not quick enough when I’m changing him. 

When he’s tired or wants comfort, he’ll let me know. Without words to communicate and with no social cues to pick up on, he doesn’t consider what the response might be. He simply feels a need, and lets us know to answer it…quickly!

He has inspired me to do the same thing. Follow my instincts, stop overthinking and do something. 

If I’m honest, I have mistaken the act of overthinking which I’d define as inherently unproductive as something that means I have excellent attention to detail and I’m well prepared for every situation. But to what end. 

A thoroughly thought through plan with meticulous detail that is never actioned is a sad pile of hopes and dreams never realised. What a waste.

This year, my desire is simply to write more and challenge myself to be disciplined with something creative. My hope is that Malachi’s Mummy fulfils that. I’m committing to do this for one year, if it no longer makes sense to continue after that for whatever reason I’ll stop; but I’m determined to complete 52 of these and hopefully sharpen my writing and storytelling skills along the way.

I want to create the conditions for Malachi to grow up in a loving and supportive environment taking opportunities to try something new.

This won’t always mean ‘big’ things like starting a business or a new venture. Even when scouring the internet for tips as a beginner blogger I was frustrated by the amount of videos, podcasts and blogs all with the intention of how to monetize your blog. I mean…I just want to write, mostly for fun.

Overcoming overthinking

I believe the real task to overcome overthinking is in the mundanity of day to day life. If someone messages me, for goodness sake, message them back! If someone comes to mind, call them. With the news of people passing away this week, conquering the small things have become all the more important to not delay doing.

It isn’t just about flipping a switch; it’s a journey of conscious decisions and daily practice. As I navigate through the beautiful chaos of motherhood, Malachi’s Mummy serves as my reminder to trust my instincts and take action, rather than drowning in a sea of overanalysis. Perhaps there’s a challenge for all of us. So, if you managed to get this far, consider the areas in your own life where overthinking may be holding you back. What small steps can we take today to follow our instincts and pursue our passions?

Let’s embrace the simplicity of action and leave behind the paralysis of overthinking. Let’s realise our dreams and plans, not leaving them to gather dust on the shelf.