Malachi’s Mummy

How many hours did you spend on social media last week? I spent 35 hours, five hours a day on average…

Jury’s out if this is a colossal waste of time or somehow justifiable – I’m on maternity leave and conversation with a small human whilst cute isn’t enough to fill my days 😂🤦🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️.

My recent thoughts about social media were sparked by three things. First, if I’m spending this much time on social media, I should at least stop to reflect on why and what that looks like and why!

Second, a friend made a comment about it being boring. I agreed.

I shared that I’ve been contemplating my main reasons for being on social media and how to avoid the habit of pointless zombie scrolling…for 35 hours! I responded with:

“I guess we’ve got to decide what we want to use it for and curate it accordingly. I’ve unfollowed loads of pages that just haven’t fit the criteria anymore…My new mantra is to try and ‘be social’ on social media. Like actually talk to people and share some stuff myself”.

Me

Third, I’ve got the cutest baby and I want to share him with my nearest and dearest. I hate WhatsApp so social media is the easiest next place, but how do I do that without oversharing and protecting his/our privacy. On one hand, it’s an incredible tool for staying connected with friends, sharing precious moments with family, and even finding inspiration in the midst of motherhood chaos.

But on the other hand, it can be a black hole of comparison, self-doubt, and endless scrolling that can disconnect me from the real world. Finding balance is key and some days I’m too heavy on one side of the scales.

Back in the day

Fellow millennials out there aka digital natives,join me on a trip down memory lane.

The year is 2007 and I joined the world of Facebook and made my first post. I scrolled to the beginning of my Facebook out of curiosity – it took about 30 minutes but I made a pit stop for the uni years where uploading 70-80 images from a night out was commonplace.

It was a world of text heavy posts, back and forth conversation on each other’s ‘timeline’. The letter ‘s’ was replaced with ‘z’ for some strange reason, and vowels were completely omitted as we brought ‘txt speak’ where characters were precious before the days of unlimited texts with us to the online social sphere. I can only describe the early days of social media as MSN on steroids.

A shift in behaviour

Back then, engaging with others was the norm. But as social media evolved, so has our behaviour. At some point many of us became more focused on curating our online personas, carefully selecting which moments to share and how to present ourselves to the world. If I was really cynical, I’d go as far as saying any engagement that some try to have, is to build up an ‘audience’and not to meaningfully connect with friends.

I’m sure Tom, Mark and Kevin would say they created their social platforms to help us connect with others, share our lives, and maybe even build some meaningful relationships along the way. Their algorithms tell a different story though.

That darn algorithm

I think one of the driving factors behind the decline in social interaction on social media is the rise of algorithmic changes that prioritise passive consumption over active engagement.

Complex algorithms curate our feeds based on our past behaviour, preferences, and interactions. It’s designed to keep us engaged and scrolling for longer periods of time but at the expense of noseying in on what our friends and family are up to.

I just want to see cute photos of my friends and their shenanigans. Instead I get posts from advertisers, influencers, and content creators.

Consumer vs participant

This has led us to become passive consumers rather than active participants in our various social communities.

I think we stopped being social on social media when we decided that freely and authentically sharing online was content causing us to overthink what and when we post as we’re so concerned with what others will think about it.

Or perhaps social media is just a reflection of our individualistic society. We’re encouraged to highlight our achievements, showcase our best selves, and collect likes and followers as validation of our worth. We’ve traded meaningful connections for superficial likes and shallow engagements.

‘Influencers’ aside, us everyday lot need to be wary of adopting a mindset of self-promotion over genuine connection. Instead of viewing social media as a platform for personal branding, let’s see it as an opportunity to build community and share life with others. This means being vulnerable, authentic, and willing to engage in real conversations.

Having said that, sometimes we just want to laugh and mindlessly scroll for entertainment. After initially avoiding TikTok (I just don’t think I ‘got it’) I have now completed my first TikTok dance – Malachi will cringe one day 🙂. Either I have too much time on my hands, or motherhood has unlocked a carefreeness to just do things I enjoy. Two things can be true at once 😂.

So indulge me for a moment, what’s your primary social media persona?

The Ghost Follower
You lurk in the shadows observing every post, like, and comment without ever actually engaging with anyone. You’ve perfected the art of passive consumption, scrolling endlessly through your feed without leaving a digital footprint behind.

The Oversharer
You treat social media like your own personal diary, sharing every mundane detail of your life with the world. From what you had for breakfast to the colour of your socks, nothing is off-limits.

The Influencer Wannabe
You secretly dream of social media stardom, tirelessly curating your feed to perfection in the hopes of amassing a legion of followers and scoring lucrative brand deals. You meticulously plan every post, agonising over filters, captions, and hashtags in pursuit of that elusive double-tap.

The Meme Connoisseur
You spend hours scrolling through meme accounts and group chats in search of the perfect laugh. You communicate primarily through memes, using witty captions and clever pop culture references to express yourself. Secretly you use memes as a way to connect with people.

The Selfie Queen/King
You can’t resist the allure of the front-facing camera. You document every moment of your life with a perfectly posed selfie, meticulously editing and filtering each photo to perfection before sharing it with the world. For you, social media is less about socialising and more about showcasing your own personal brand of fabulousness.

The Social Justice Warrior
You’re on a mission to change the world, one tweet at a time. You use social media as a platform for activism, passionately advocating for causes you believe in and calling out injustice wherever you see it. Your feed is filled with petitions, protest announcements, and impassioned pleas for change.

My goal…
Be all of them!

The truth is I enjoy consuming a variety of content on social media, from memes and funny videos to thought-provoking articles and personal updates from friends and family. I appreciate the entertainment value of social media but also recognise the importance of setting boundaries and taking breaks when needed.

Social media is a dynamic and multifaceted space. So, I’m attempting to embrace the freedom to use it in whichever way feels most authentic and fulfilling in the moment whilst remembering the priority of offline interactions and real-life connections.

Despite the frustrations and pitfalls of social media, I’ll keep coming back for more. Because deep down, I know that beneath the surface of likes and comments, lies a genuine desire for community. I’ll keep scrolling, keep sharing, and keep searching for the balance between embracing the joys of social media and knowing when to step away and reconnect with the real world.